Alexsis has vivid memories of being told she would be a failure.
She gave college a try. But college just wasn’t a good fit for Alexsis Bass. Besides the fact that it was so expensive, she just didn’t see how she could apply and benefit from what she was learning. She dropped out of college the first time because she had a hard time navigating it all and she fell into a deep depression.
Listen in as Alexsis tells Jonaed about:
* Why she decided to drop out of college the second time
* What it was like working on Wall Street without a degree
* How her commitment to personal development helped her to climb the corporate ladder without a degree.
Support/Contact Alexsis:
* Website: https://www.alexsisbass.com/
* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexsisbass/
Books and resources mentioned in this podcast:
* Resume course: https://bit.ly/podcastpca
* LinkedIn Learning: https://www.linkedin.com/learning/
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Episode 139 Transcript: Here’s How a Depressed Dropout Climbed the Corporate Ladder without a Degree–Alexsis Bass
[00:00:00] Intro
Alexsis: I think the truth has been that whenever I've switched to a new company, that's when I tend to see the largest increase. It's been very, very rare that I've actually received a raise, staying at the same company with that same role. I have started out probably around 55,000 but been paid up to about 90,000 a year for this role.
Episode start:
Jonaed: Welcome to another episode of the No Degree podcast. I want to personally thank you for tuning in and supporting our show. If you haven't yet, hit that follow or subscribe button. I encourage you. Don't keep this to yourself. Share these inspiring stories with your friends, invite them to subscribe and connect with us on social media. So Alexsis, do you mind telling us a little bit about yourself?
Alexsis: No, not at all. My name is Alexsis. I'm from New York. Right now, I'm operating in people operations and kind of like events and office management space, which I've been doing probably for almost a decade now.
Jonaed: Wow, that's awesome. What's the salary range for the positions that you've interviewed for?
Alexsis: Definitely there can be quite a large range. I know, unfortunately, I think the truth has been that whenever I've switched to a new company, that's when I tend to see the largest increase, it's been very, very rare that I've actually received a raise, staying at the same company with that same role. I have started out probably around 55,000 but been paid up to about 90,000 a year for this role.
Jonaed: No, that's good. Those are some very respectable salaries. What hard and soft skills do people typically need to have to succeed in the roles that you've had?
Alexsis: That's an interesting question because I think the role is such a mishmash of a bunch of different skills. I mean, there's definitely I think the people operations piece requires a lot of patience, a lot of empathy, strong communication skills. I think, a high emotional intelligence as well as awareness of cultural difference in background and how to navigate that in the workplace. But honestly, other than that, I don't have any technical certifications or anything like that. I mean, I'm a millennial so I remember I started to learn how to type on a PC when– definitely by at least, like the fourth grade, and I've [AUDIO GLITCH 00:02:25] 92.
Those skills and just being a New Yorker, to be honest, I feel like it played a big role in how I navigated. But prior to stepping into this, I studied criminal justice and I was a paralegal, I was on Wall Street. It was a very, very different environment and so that's why I'm like, honestly, it was just like, being really curious, I would say. And just like really scrappy, it's a very physical job a lot of times it can be very taxing, but so just highly, highly self-motivated as well. I would say.
Jonaed: Were there any courses or resources that really helped you level up?
Alexsis: LinkedIn, especially because I did not have a degree and I'm sure you can understand that, now, people are really open minded or relatively open minded about that idea. But that was not the case for me at the time. When I was working at one of these firms, I was making $25,000 as a paralegal. I didn't know any better. I didn't know any better. And so I was just happy that I just felt lucky – before that I was a Hooters waitress. I was like, look, I've got health insurance. I've got something steady I can count on. I found out about LinkedIn and then through there saw a bunch of articles around culture and startups. I don't know what any of this stuff is. I'm from Staten Island like it's definitely more conservative and like a suburb not really into that tech stuff at the time.
Just through LinkedIn, taking courses around just like becoming proficient and just like regular tools like MS Suite and stuff like that. But also a specific just obsession with diversity, equity, inclusion, once I got wind of it, and employee experience and literally courses called things like cultivating cultural intelligence or things like that. The rest of it was kind of on the job training. That was pretty much it.
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[00:04:59]
You will also get a behind the scenes view of how recruiters use LinkedIn to find candidates. And of course, you'll get resume and cover letter templates. Get one step closer to your dream job. Sign up at the link in the notes below. Now, we got to go back. You said Hooters. How is that environment? And how much does a Hooters waitress make?
Alexsis: That environment is, it was definitely one of the more challenging jobs I've had. I also always bring it up in regards to a very thorough onboarding process. I don't think any company I've worked at since then has met that level of onboarding, it's extremely intense. It's a lot of training. There's a magazine, there's a video, there's a bunch of tests you have to take. Not only are you supposed to be very, very friendly, very, very attentive, you are also transferring bus bins to the back and cleaning up tables, getting under the – fixing a wobbly table. There's a mouse sighting and so you're going with a dustpan in the back.
But you can never wear your hair up in a ponytail, for example. And you always have to have lipstick on. It was like an impossible standard, but also very much part of being a woman as a metaphor in a nutshell. I mean, that's probably if I think about it, more so than working at a law firm, which probably influenced my diversity interest. But I think in terms of creating a truly inclusive environment, a workspace that's efficient, but also is dripping with empathy, I think comes from working in hospitality, because anybody that's working in hospitality will tell you how extremely challenging but rewarding can be because you learn amazing skills.
Jonaed: Do you mind sharing how much a Hooters waitress could make?
Alexsis: At Hooters, what I made–I just remember being broke all the time, to be honest. I remember that at the time, I was living with my stepdad, and mom, in Westchester. So, I spent a lot of money just commuting down to Hooters. And then you pay for your own everything like the shirt, the sneakers you have to wear so once again, robbery. I wasn't pulling much more than maybe a couple $100 a night if that. But I didn't really see any of that money. Because like, I don't know, if you take the Metro North it's like $179 a month or something. But it was no regrets. It was a great experience I keep this on my refrigerator so that I forget what the deal is and where I'm at and where I'm capable of going from there.
Jonaed: No, it's really cool how you transfer from that environment. Now, what were some other tough scenarios that you had to deal with working in an environment like that?
Alexsis: It's not very different than the challenges I face now. There weren't a lot of people that looked like me. And so I'm held to a certain standard of performance, but there are certain systems in place in regards to getting shifts more than other girls was something that was really difficult. Also, I'm not like a white European girl. So [AUDIO GLITCH 00:07:57] like that, like if I'm standing next to maybe a blonde, Norwegian girl, no offense to any blonde out there. It's a little bit sometimes harder to stand out, depending on who I'm looking at, or where they're from. A lot of the Hooters clientele were tourists coming here. And they also had a misconception that it was kind of like a brothel. But again, like a lot of these things are absolutely things I've experienced, like men hitting on you when they shouldn't, all of my managers were men, but they set the standard for how I was supposed to perform, not being paid fair wages, not – so all the stuff that people typically –
Jonaed: That's sad. It's like the startups feel just like Hooters and –
Alexsis: Which one is sad? Is it sad that startups are like Hooters or that Hooters are like startups?
Jonaed: I mean, both ways are sad. I don't know. Either way, it's just that –
Alexsis: This is not to condemn Hooters because I went there for the chicken. I knew what I was getting into. I was there for the discounted chicken and that's what where my eyes were at. It was never supposed to be like a long term plan. It served a purpose. And it was a good, good –
Jonaed: Look, I can't blame you. I worked at Popeyes. I took extra chicken during my lunch break.
Alexsis: No chicken left behind.
Jonaed: So in the jobs that you've had, were you ever asked about not having a degree?
Alexsis: Yes. But not very often. There's only honestly one time that I can ever think of probably because of that saying, you forget what people say, but you don't forget how it makes you feel. I remember it was, ironically, after I had already accepted an offer at a firm. During my first week, maybe two days in or something, this office admin essentially took me out to lunch. During lunch, she started questioning me about like, “So, did you go to school,” or like “Did you try or if you did, why didn't you finish? Do you ever think about going back,” et cetera, et cetera. And it was super awkward at this time, I was probably like 22, 21.
[00:10:01]
I don't really remember how I answered. I think at that time in my life, I was still very ashamed. What I know one of my go to answers was like, “Oh, yeah, and I plan to go back,” which is bullshit. I know I don’t plan to go back in that moment, but I felt like it was better than saying, “I failed at this thing you think I should have.” Interesting that it happened after I had gotten the job.
Jonaed: Some people, they need to mind their own business. And you know what? You can ask, but it's how you ask. You could say, “Oh, did you finish? Okay, cool” than it's like, “Why didn't you finish? What was the reason?”
Alexsis: If you were ever to go back, do you think you would study what you did before or – there's so many ways to be curious without being critical.
Jonaed: Be curious, but not like you're in interrogation or you commit a crime? Like, what do you ask me for? So, if you could create a blueprint of your success to pass on to someone else without a college degree, what would it look like? What would they do? What wouldn't they do?
Alexsis: I think it's a lot of like stepping outside your comfort zone. Because from the very beginning, transitioning from a paralegal to wanting to then work at a startup, it was a lot of people saying no, no. Honestly, I was surprised. I was like, I'm a smart girl, why can’t I be a receptionist at your office? I’m qualified for more than that. So, I think I'm a big advocate of shooting your shot, regardless of regardless. I think being willing to do that, I definitely have built up a high tolerance for rejection. I think people see a lot of like LinkedIn posts and things being like, I just got this, I just got that. I tried to be really honest, that there was a lot of rejection and having to be resilient about that.
I think just in general, that would benefit anybody's career, and at networking. I was watching some of your videos, obviously. But also, there was a post that you had and I was looking at some of the comments. A lot of people have this sentiment of realizing that the pandemic changed the game in a big way, especially with people like yourself and for me. I did the same thing. I went into my LinkedIn, I'm like, who am I connected with that I've never spoken to? I don’t even remember how we got connected. Let's just put time on the calendar and have a half hour conversation. So, I think that has also been a big part of it. Because most of my roles have come from referrals, or folks I've already worked with at their company that have called me up later and been like we have this project, or do you want to come and see what this is about here, we're building this. And that's been the bulk of it.
So yeah, I would say nurturing your network in an authentic way, being willing to take risks and to fail and just being really resourceful. I am in the camp of you're getting the answer. No, you're asking the wrong person. Maybe that goes into just being persistent and crafty to your point. It's not always what you say, it's how you say it. Yes. And I also would say that I learned to use what I thought were weaknesses as strengths, especially my femininity. I presented physically, very, very differently, the beginning of my career. As I got comfortable, I realized that I started to grow up my nails, and I started to have my hair out. I started wearing more pink because these were things that at a firm, were all like a law firm, that's not the environment for that. You will get Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, essentially. And it's not a good look. But now, those are the things that are my fingerprint. Those are the things that people recognize me for my click clacking heels in the office and stuff like that. So yes, I think it pays to be patient in your authenticity.
Jonaed: What's your backstory like? How was high school like for you? What would you want to be in high school?
Alexsis: High school was, you know, it's high school. It's not perfect but I always say that compared to what I see in the movies or whatever, it could have been worse. However, it was challenging because like I said, I grew up in Staten Island and it's mostly a white community, pretty much religious and very small. It was really hard but also just weird. I graduated high school in 2010. So, when I was going through high school, Obama was in the White House and it was cool to have a one black friend like it was cool to be a black girl. But I’m also –so
Jonaed: I graduated in 2009.
Alexsis: Oh, okay, yeah, exactly so you remember the vibe of the time so it was cool. My mom is Puerto Rican so that mysterious necessity of myself kind of like, again was a tool that helped me kind of navigate luckily at the time, but I was ready to get out of Staten Island. I haven't lived there since I graduated high school. At the time, I was really into and still I'm just really into music. I thought I was going to go to school to study managing artists, and maybe even learning to produce music. It's something that I still think of like another chapter of my life career possible. And I was really into art as well.
Jonaed: You mentioned that you did go to college.
[00:14:59]
And I’m asking it in a nice curious way so that other people can listen to figure out like, “Hey, you know, who is it right for?” What were the things looking back like, “Hey, you know what? I should have realized that this wasn't for me. How was that experience like for you?
Alexsis: I actually gave it a try twice. First, I went to St. John's University, and then I transferred out and I went to St. Thomas Aquinas College, which is in Rockland County, up in New York. The first time, I was really excited to go to college because it seems like independence that I think is like what a lot of kids think. But I wasn't really sold on it. I have a lot of vivid memories of people telling me flat out like you were going to be a failure if you don't have a degree. I went in for I think, communications at St. John's. But I hated–I don't know, I felt very stifled. And then I fell into a deep depression, to be honest. I found it really hard to navigate school. So, I dropped out. Then I enrolled in another school right after, like a semester after. I don't know, I didn't really have an interest in being in the environment. I didn't resonate with the students there.
To be honest, I also had a really hard time feeling like the students wanted to be there. And I think that's a big part of what's exciting is when you connect with someone who's excited about learning. It was just like high school, it wasn't a matter of not feeling left out or anything like that. I just didn't really feel like it was for me. While I was there, I think in an effort to find something that was interesting, that's when I discovered criminal justice as a major and switched over into that, and I really, really loved that. I think once I discovered that I really loved the idea of justice. I was like, Okay, I want to apply this to things. So eventually, I think that's an interesting progression from studying criminal justice to working at a law firm to now being very much in the DEI space. It's a trend that I think followed all the way. But I just felt like the school environment wasn't. I couldn't apply it quickly enough.
Jonaed: You felt it was like way too theoretical, way too –
Alexsis: It was so expensive. All the time, all I could think was, this is so expensive. I can’t believe how expensive it is. So yes, I just felt like I just couldn't – there was no guarantee that it was going to amount to anything. I'm not stupid. I was aware even if I have this degree, it doesn't mean there's so many other factors. I don't come from a family of degrees. To be honest, my brothers are in the military. My mom doesn't have a degree either and she has a very good job. I think I had confidence that I could take what I learned and apply it to the real world and navigate it from there.
Jonaed: Looking back, how would you get to where you are much quicker now that you understand yourself a lot more? There's someone there's a mini Alexsis, listening to the podcast right now, what would you tell her?
Alexsis: That's kind of a different question than what you first said. I would say if I was talking to a younger version of myself, I don't know, I'd probably just like, try to convince myself to stay authentic, don't worry about fitting in, it's going to pay off later kind of thing. But no one believes advice coming from older people. So, I probably would listen to me.
Jonaed: Looking back at your career, what would you say is your biggest accomplishment?
Alexsis: I think it's finding my way to creating inclusive spaces. I think that whether it's like pushing back and creating more room for policy that supports working parents, so they can return back to work or taking a look at our interview practices and asking, are they really equitable? Even just celebrating joy, like we did a Lunar New Year celebration the other week, which is something that I'd never done before. I felt excited that folks that no, I don't identify as part of that community wanted to include me in – so I think it's very Kumbaya, but I think that makes it worth it, for sure.
Jonaed: That’s amazing, because it's like, we need the practices to be more equitable, so that people who normally have a harder time not because of lack of skill, but because of the biases, and the systems that they have to overcome, actually have a fair shot. Now, the other thing is, you've obviously had a career, ups and downs. What would you say is the hardest thing that you went through?
Alexsis: Being disappointed or betrayed by coworkers, especially managers I've had in the past. I think that as someone that is always looking for a sense of mentorship, I'm really drawn to that. I think that some folks are power hungry and I think that when they're put in managerial positions, it means something else to them. So it's really challenging, especially when you're in the early stages of your career to see a figure and have them let you down or take advantage of you in one way or another. On the other hand, despite the fact that that has happened, continuing to have enthusiasm and energy and excitement towards building relations anyway, and correcting those things anyway. And like putting that energy towards making things better and shaking it off however I can.
[00:20:10]
Jonaed: This is just advice for the audience. You have to be careful because not everyone at work is your friend. You may occupy the same space with them, you may share a lot of things with them. But not everyone is your friend. You have to be mindful because a lot of times when people get in trouble, it’s their coworkers telling on them. They're jealous. They're thinking about, “Oh, Alexis is really good. Let me go tell on her,” –
Alexsis: Actually, in this environment where job security feels scarce, like people kind of crabs in a barrel mentality, I think, especially since the pandemic, that's where the bulk of the negative experiences started for me. Because I think there's a desperation and people are like, well, it's you or me, you know what I mean? So I better [AUDIO GLITCH 00:20:50] you out. So, it's disappointing, but at the same time, that's just an individual, that's a product of a system in place. You don’t blame a person for – people should be held accountable. But I also believe that desperation is bred from decisions that are made by people that have nothing to do with you, do you know what I mean?
Jonaed: Of course, because if you have a system that incentivizes that behavior, and that rewards that behavior, people will do that. One of my friends, there was a coworker who's doing something they were not supposed to do. And his manager asked him, “Do you know of this?” He knew, but he said, “Oh, no, sorry, I don't know of anything.” And it wasn't too bad. It was just he was browsing things he shouldn't have been browsing. So he said, “Hey, I don't know.” And then he mentioned that he never got on management track after that. But he was like, “Look, I'm not going to go tell on my coworker. If you guys discovered he did something, you guys can take action. But he loves his kids. And I don't want to play a part in that decision to get him fired.”
Alexsis: And also, that’s so awkward for that person who's telling because I wouldn't want to work at a company that's forcing me to rat out other employees, because that's a larger – again, it's a larger issue. There are other players at the top.
Jonaed: It’s just a very tough situation to be in. But he was like, yes, he lost out on that. But he's proud that he did what he thought was right. I think it's really important to stick true to your beliefs, and all that. But just be mindful, protect yourself, make sure you document things and all that. Now, let's talk more about the DEI space? How do you learn more about the DEI space? How do you go about it? I mean, how would someone get more involved in that space?
Alexsis: I think the best thing about the space is that it's because it's all about inclusivity and diversity. I find that literally anybody can step into it because everyone has a value or something like that. I think the biggest thing is getting really comfortable with starting with, oh, I don't know anything, I don't know shit. Like anything, I thought I understood it's not true. So, there's a lot of free information and courses online. But also I've done – because of my close proximity to people operations, it's a lot of time just part of the job, whether it's through, like I said, supporting actual hiring processes, or the events that you create, even the workplace layout, things like that. But I also had done some work with different consultants and things like that, especially during the pandemic, when people were really, really ramped up about George Floyd. Everybody was really interested in – there was a lot of opportunity to assist companies and do that kind of coaching with leadership and focus group work. And also, every time you do that, you learn a lot from those companies. So, it's also I'm constantly having to reeducate myself because trends are changing so quickly. And a lot of times if I don't actively seek out someone different, I have no idea and I'm using the wrong language or something is outdated, et cetera, et cetera.
Jonaed: That’s awesome. Now, what's something that you were surprised in DEI because as you get deeper, you're like, Wow, I never thought like – I have a friend who's hard of hearing. So now, when I do things, I think of, oh after you saw – when I meet with him, it's like, he needs to have it transcribed. When I send them videos, I think about that inclusion. And even when I create videos, I'm like, hey, I need to have him enjoy it in the same capacity as everyone else so here's how I can do that. So, what are some things that really surprised you, and that people should really think about?
Alexsis: I think that's a really good example, the one that you just named. I've been really fortunate to work at some really cool startups with really awesome products. And so just like user interface is something that I was not thinking about ever at all, just because I'm someone who – I wear glasses, but that's the extent of that. And so yes to your point, I think it really expanded my definition. I think when I thought of DEI, it was more around, maybe religion, socioeconomic status, race, ethnicity, and things like that.
Yes, I think just like I said before, just staying so abreast of things because I'm constantly learning that I am hyper ignorant, even though I think I am doing my best to learn about things. But I also think that's where LinkedIn comes into play. Because a lot of times in the workplace, people don’t come up to you and say, “Hey, just so you know, I identify as someone who lives with a disability or I, blah, blah, blah, blah.”
[00:25:04]
Because it's not a safe space, you don't have a psychological safety. If you have an authentic connection with people that you work with, or that you're connected with on LinkedIn, you get to see what's really going on.
They're putting real posts about like, I couldn't climb the stairs to my own doctor's office. What's the irony in that? I can't even go get the care, because they haven't figured out I need a ramp, you know what I mean? So I think I'm just like paying attention. Also, I think I would say in sharing more about my own vulnerabilities, it really, really makes it – I think it's a quickest way to make a safe space for other people to start opening up about theirs, which is not always easy. But yes, I would say that's super impactful.
Jonaed: No, that's important, because I remember I have something called delayed sleep phase disorder. So I have a shift of disrupted circadian rhythms. When I work, I was late to work every day, my performance reviews were like, come late every day, but it’s like a struggle. It's like telling someone, why don't you do this to a meeting? That, I'm good with. But for other people, it's like telling someone, just fall asleep at 4pm. Most people cannot. So for me, it's like, I can't fall asleep before a certain time. And I remember I mentioned that to someone in the workplace and they’re like, “Well, I wake up early, you're just lazy.” And a lot of people have this conception, just like, you wouldn't tell someone in a wheelchair they're lazy, because they can't get upstairs. Why don't you just go upstairs? And it's very important. So, you do great work and it's really important for people like you because I know, I would have done way better at work had I been able to talk to HR, bring these things up, as opposed to saying, “Hey, your work hours are nine to five. And that's when you have to work.” And there's no way around that.
Alexsis: No wiggle room, yes. I'm sorry. it's so ironic to me again, because what department are you talking about? The one that's supposed to be human centered, human focused? My department is people operations. But a lot of times, there's money at the center of everything, not people.
Jonaed: But the funny thing is, a lot of times people think about short term money, because, okay, we have to spend this much for a ramp, or we have to do X month for this accommodation. But then long term, they showed that studies of companies that have diversity can do a lot better, they think of more scenarios, they could deal with more clients, like I just saw this video on TikTok, where this lady, she was on a call, and she liked the product. But they didn't realize that the chat when he was sharing the screen was visible. She was a blonde woman so I think they were talking about her looks.
Then she was like, “Hey, can I get a salesperson? Because I see.” And she handled it so well. She was like, “I see the locker room talk that's not available in the – the guy was just like, “Hey, sorry,” he was kind of like, “Sorry, you saw that kind of thing.” But it was like, you should not have done that in the first place, those types of things. It's really sad to see. But it's good. I'm glad that people are actually advocating for themselves. We need more progress in the space. Because the more progress, the more people get in, the more diversity you have. And now you can actually have equitable solution because everyone's at the table.
Alexsis: Exactly. I totally feel you and I think part of it is on my part and acceptance that this is always going to be difficult, there's always going to be people that are going to make me prove that this is important work that they should invest in monetarily or with their time. But similar to how you have a calling for No Degree because it uniquely meets with you that to me, it's like not optional, because I can't work at a space where DEI is not a priority. I won't be able to progress, I won't be paid fairly, I'll be harassed, it's not an option.
So, if I'm going to – no matter if I'm in the room, we're going, assessing how diverse equitable and inclusive it is. So I'm glad that companies seem to have an interest, but I really hope it stays because it's also extremely heartbreaking and infuriating to have seen so many posts and so many social things literally two, three years ago from all these companies making promises around social action and justice. Now it's the same reaction, the same shrugs, the same gaslighting, and kind of the runaround and not having the direct conversations. It's really, really challenging. But I think that's also why we have to keep talking about it.
Jonaed: Yes, the more we talk about it, the more people listen, the more these conversation, the more these conversations become normal. They become normalized, and then people become more comfortable sharing things. Now, looking back, what were some of the biggest mistakes you've made?
Alexsis: I don't have any mistakes. I'm perfect. No, no, I'm totally getting it's like which one do I pick? Mistakes. I mean, the first one that came to mind when I heard the question. It wasn't so much a mistake, as it's so much it's like I think patience is something that I think was really, really hard to practice at the beginning stages of my 20s but I would say playing small a lot as well.
[00:30:00]
I felt like, I was definitely someone who wasn't really trying to rock the boat that much, definitely just trying to like collect a paycheck and a bit of a people pleaser. I think it prolong things. And maybe that's where the impatience started. So I think not being as direct and as about as confident, especially around salary and for what I was worthy of. Yes, and I think there's definitely – I don’t know if it's a mistake, especially if you know, folks, I worked at nonprofits for a bit as well, like, it's really, really hard sometimes to set a boundary when you do work that involves your heart a lot.
So I don’t know if it was a mistake, as much as if I could go back, I would just like be like, take better care, try and take that hat off, when you get home, try to be really, really mindful about the rest that you need. Because this work is very, you know, heartfelt, and you're not anything left for yourself. And you don't want to turn cold because you're giving everything to this cause. So you need to fill your cup. And I feel like, there were definitely times where I was not taking care of my mind or my body and it translated to my job and my work and missed opportunities ultimately.
Jonaed: You mentioned you're a people pleaser. I still struggle with that. It's something that I feel like it's hard to go away. But how do you manage something like that? How do you make sure you respect your own boundaries?
Alexsis: I was going to say boundaries. I love boundaries. They're not easy to set, especially with the people closest to you, I realized. But I'm very, very dedicated to those boundaries. I also do live alone and I think making a conscious effort to spend time by myself, I think it reinforces how important my boundaries are. Because I can feel them so intensely when I get to my own space so I just set really firm ones. I tried to be really direct when I feel like they're being crossed. And I also just encourage people to set their own because I think it helps them learn that boundaries are to keep you close, and not to push you out. If I wanted you out, you'd be blocked or done. I'll tell you how to be involved. Because I want you to be in the circle, to be part of the success. So I think just through practice, to be honest, if you talk to anybody who talks about being a people pleaser, they'll always bring up their family, because I think it starts when you're really young. So, practicing in my personal life and my professional life, and just using those tools back and forth, it's a muscle to –
Jonaed: No, thank you. It's something important to work on. Have you ever felt insecure about not having a degree?
Alexsis: Yes, yes. Maybe this is a time in my life where I feel least insecure but I still do. Even where I work now, I'm one of the older people there and everybody has a degree, everyone seems like everyone I talked to has a degree or they're fresh out of school. It's starting to creep up again, definitely lately. But – I don't know, I think that's why I had such a strong reaction to discovering your work, because I know that it's valuable. And I know so many people that I've taken – there's also plenty of people that study this, have a degree in this and don't even do that work. So yes, I feel insecure about lots of things all the time. But that’s definitely one of them.
Jonaed: if it makes you feel any better, some of the least inclusive people I've met have been the most so called educated. And I think –
Alexsis: You can't get into those spaces their use of exclusivity.
Jonaed: Yes. A lot of times I've seen what happens is a lot of people define them by hey, I went to school. I have a master's degree, unfortunately and I went to Columbia. A lot of those kids, they were very, very wealthy. I remember my girlfriend also went there. She was in a class and the kid was like, “Oh, 70,000.” He's like, “Isn't that poor people?” And that's like the average household income in New York City. Then I remember that there were kids whose parents were paying $5,000 to $7,000 a month rent and this is rent for them to live in the city. So that means they have extra money, extra money to burn and so then you realize these people, they've had tutors their whole life.
They've lived life on easy mode that they never had to worry about not eating, they never had to worry about getting a part time job. They want something, they can get it. It's something that I find that a lot of people who tend to come from a low background and I was actually doing something. I was doing some research, 60% of people who go finish degrees have come from middle class backgrounds. Because the thing is, if you have to worry about getting a job, you have to worry about this, or your parents don't know it, you don't tend to have that support. You don't have the resources. Even when I went to college, I was tutoring on the side, and I was like, “Yeah, I got a client at $30 an hour.” And I was like, so happy. I was like, now I can afford gas. I can afford toll money. Whereas other people, it's like, oh, yeah, that's what their parents just give them, just for –
Alexsis: That’s what they’re tipping at the diner.
[00:34:58]
Jonaed: It's something interesting. So, I think it's really important that people like you who have your background, who have empathy, who have the knowledge, are in the space. Now, what are your future goals?
Alexsis: I'm looking to really make some waves in the culture employee experience and DEI space. I think for me, this was definitely a really cool storytelling exercise for me. I think that's something that I really want to practice this year. And I would love to just be able to, I have this – I would love for some type of collective or coalition to form around folks that have this interest in social impact and corporate social responsibility, creating equitable paths, practices, and some type of accountability, reporting and metric system for that. That would be really cool. But I don't know, keeping an open mind for the most part, but likely to continue exploring just like, I don't really love like the, what is it? Head of Diversity type –
Jonaed: Yes, the Chief Diversity officer.
Alexsis: I’m on the fence –
Jonaed: With no budget, they get no budget whatsoever.
Alexsis: But they'll put you at the front of the photo, so that you'll be like, Look, we have her so I know this is legitimate. I know it deserves that. But we'll see how the landscape is. And I can do this work with another title. So it doesn't really –
Jonaed: Yes, it’s not about the title. It’s about the fact that you have. I want thank you for your time. This was such a good conversation. How would people support you? And is there anything else you want to share?
Alexsis: No, not for the most part. This was super fun. Thank you for your thoughtful questions and for being present and for representing New York. I do have a website. It's alexisbass.com. I mean, if anyone's interested in like I said, in regards to focus groups or things like that at their company, consulting around the DEI space, culture building, and that kind of DEI audit type situation. There's also some resume building that I can assist with and career coaching, but yes, I'm all over the place. But for the most part, no, it's just been fun to connect with you.
Jonaed: Thank you so much for your time. Alexsis, this was such a great episode. I learned a lot. I'll be supporting your work and cheering you on.
Alexsis: Thank you. Take care.
Another great episode. Thank you for listening. Hopefully this information was valuable, and you learned a lot. Stay tuned for the next episode. This show is sponsored by you. No Degree wants to remain free from influence so that we can talk about the topics without bias. If you think the show's worth a dollar or two, please check out our Patreon page. Any amount is appreciated and will go towards making future episodes even better. Follow us on Instagram or Snapchat at No Degree podcast, on facebook@facebook.com/nodegreeinc. If you want to personally reach out to me, connect or follow me on LinkedIn @JonaedIqbal spelled J-O-N-A-E-D last name I-Q-B-A-L. Until next time, no degree, no problem. No degree.com
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